60 questions to ask your grandparents

The best questions to ask your grandparents are open and specific. "What did you eat as a child?" works better than "Tell me about your childhood." Pick three questions, ask them one at a time, listen without correcting, and write down or record what they say.

How to ask so they really talk

Choose a calm moment. Tea time or after a meal works well. Sit close and put your phone away.
Ask one question at a time and wait. Silence is fine. Memories need a moment to come back.
Ask about a moment, not a whole life. "Tell me about the day you started work" is easier to answer than "Tell me about your work."
Ask permission to record. A voice note on your phone is enough. Write down the key sentences afterwards.
Do not correct dates or names. The feeling matters more than the year. You can check facts later.
Stop when they are tired. Three to five questions in twenty minutes is a good first visit.

Childhood

Where were you born, and what did your house look like?
What is your earliest memory?
What games did you play, and with whom?
What did you eat on an ordinary day, and what on a special day?
What chores did you have as a child?
Who was the strictest person in your family, and who was the softest?
What was school like, or why did you not go?
What was your favourite place near home?
What did you want to be when you grew up?
What did your mother or father say to you most often?

Home and family

How did your parents meet?
What do you remember about your own grandparents?
Who in the family made you laugh the most?
What was a normal evening at home like before phones and television?
Who looked after you when you were ill?
What was the happiest day in your home?
Is there a sad day you are willing to share with me?
Which family sayings or songs do you still remember?
How did the neighbours help each other?
What did your family do when money was short?

Work and hard times

What was your first job, and how much did it pay?
What was the hardest work you ever did?
Did you ever work for hours in the heat, the cold or the rain? What kept you going?
Was there a day you went hungry so someone else could eat?
Who helped you when things were hard?
What did you give up for your children?
Which skill are you most proud of?
What would you do differently if you could?
What was your proudest day at work?
What did you buy with your first savings?

Wisdom and advice

What is the most important lesson life taught you?
What advice would you give me at my age?
What are you most grateful for?
What are you proud of that nobody knows about?
What do you wish young people understood?
Which prayer, saying or proverb from your parents do you remember?
Was there a time you were afraid? What helped you?
What changed the most in your lifetime?
What should our family never forget?
What would you like us to remember about you?

Photos, objects and places

Do you have an old photo you love? Who is in it?
Is there an object (a watch, a cup, a shawl) with a story?
Is there a recipe that only you know?
Which song or poem brings back memories?
Which place would you like to visit once more?
What did you carry with you when you moved?
Which smell takes you back to your childhood?
What story do you tell often that we have never written down?
Which day would you live over again?
If you could send a message to your great-grandchildren, what would it be?

Sawal Roman Urdu mein

Agar aap ke dada, dadi, nana ya nani Urdu ya Punjabi mein baat karna pasand karte hain, to ye sawal poochein:

Aap ka bachpan kahan guzra, aur wo ghar kaisa tha?
Aap ki sab se purani yaad kya hai?
Aap ne pehli naukri kab ki, aur kitne paise milte thay?
Kya aisa din yaad hai jab aap bhooke rahe taake doosre kha saken?
Garmi, sardi ya barish mein aap ne sab se mushkil kaam kaun sa kiya?
Aap ki shadi kaise hui?
Aap ko apne walidain ki kaun si baat sab se zyada yaad hai?
Aap ki zindagi ka sab se bara sabaq kya hai?
Hamari family ko kya kabhi nahi bhoolna chahiye?
Aap apne pote potiyon aur nawason ke liye kya paigham dena chahenge?

What if your grandparent has passed away?

You can still gather their story. Ask your parents, aunts, uncles and older cousins the same questions, but begin with "What do you remember about..." Old photos, a favourite cup, a recipe or a song can start a memory when words do not. Write down who told you each part, so the family always knows where a detail came from.

From one answer to a story

You do not need to write a book. Choose the one answer that moved you and write four to six honest lines in your own words. Then paste them into UmarCalm, choose the language you want, and press Create story. You can read the story, listen to it, and share it with the family. Always read it afterwards and change anything that is not true to your memory.

Turn one memory into a story

Free: 3 stories per day on this device, in any language. Next: how to write a story about your grandparent.

Common questions

How many questions should I ask in one visit?

Three to five. Keep a visit to about twenty minutes and stop when your grandparent is tired. You can always come back.

What if my grandparent does not like to talk about the past?

Start with easy things such as food, songs, old photos or objects. Never push on painful topics. If a question upsets them, skip it and move on.

Should I record the conversation?

Ask permission first. A voice note on your phone is enough. Write down the important sentences soon afterwards and keep the original recording safe.

Can I write the story in my own language?

Yes. In UmarCalm you choose the language of the story, and you can write your memory in the language you speak at home.

Is UmarCalm free?

You get 3 free stories per day on your device. Memories can be up to 8,000 characters.